If only you knew how much it hurts.
Words can never show.
Only you’ll know
Seeing them hurt inside but they can’t express it in any other way than to be manic. Nasty. The whole worlds against them in their eyes. When all you’re trying to do is help. They wanna make this journey.. Against everyone! “No ones gonna get me down. I’m gonna make myself happy” when all they’re doing is building a wall against them. So thick that not even you can get in. Not even for a civilised conversation.. “But mum, you’re not meant to fight me.. We’re meant to fight it together” that’s not good enough for her. No one can help. Its everyones fault. Its your fault. Cause she can’t see what’s happening to her inside. Her guards up too strong. Because of the connection you have with her you’re hurting even more. You can feel her pain. Because you’ve felt it too your crying on this inside. But you can’t cry. Not always anyway. Your screaming for someone to make it all better. To help them. You want your mother back. But she’s not the same. The pills don’t help. They’re all fucking health hazards. She can only hold it together for so long. And when she does break. No one sees it but you and your sister. You two can’t get along either. Cause she’s not well herself. Nephews only a bubba. And talking? Talking may help but its temporary.. Cause they can’t feel your pain. Words don’t express it enough. Those close to you tell you itl get better. You’ve been through it before youl get through it again. But you know. Each time its getting worse and worse. If it carries on. One day she won’t get better… So what can you do?! Move on with it.. It’s life. People go through worse. But it doesn’t stop the pain. The pain never goes.
My Bro Velli